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How To Bomb An Interview

8 February 2017

How-to-Bomb-an-Interview-(1).pngIf you are a candidate who is accustomed to traditional work environments, you may feel that your technical skills and experiences are sufficient to ace an interview. But remember: the Agile Manifesto stresses “individuals and interactions over processes and tools”. Because of this, it is still important to do your homework, be professional, and understand that the culture of the organization is vital to getting that next position.
While the following may seem like ridiculous exaggerations, these points are based on real interview stories from recruiters and hiring managers. Here are some ways to bomb your next interview:
  • Prove you are inflexible and resistant to change by demanding a specific interview time and refusing to accommodate a change to the time.
  • Insist that the interview is nothing more than a formality because your qualifications are exceptional and interacting with people is a waste of time.
  • Demand contract details before you agree to the interview – to see if it is worth your time to show up.
  • Explain to the interviewer that the salary they posted is thirty thousand dollars too low for you, but you figured they would pay you what you’re asking for once they met you.
  • Make it clear to the interviewers that you don’t respect those you work with by
    • Not bathing for a few days before the interview.
    • Allowing your ear hair to grow an inch long and combing it back so it looks professional.
    • Wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sandals.
    • Showing up to the interview drunk.
    • Arriving to the interview a day late.
    • Showing up smelling strongly of cigarettes.
    • Telling the interviewer that they have terrible communication skills and that they are an idiot.
    • Speaking badly about your previous employers – every single one.
  • Start the interview by asking what the company does and what role it is you are interviewing for today.
  • Tell the interviewer that you’re not interested in THIS opportunity, but have applied for many other positions with the company and wanted to find out why you never received a reply.
  • When asked at the end of the interview if you have any questions, ask if you can get a leather day timer once you start.
You may not ever plan on doing any of the above, but these real examples represent ideas that you should take with you into any interview situation.
Be flexible. Be personable. Be respectful. Above all, be Agile.

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